Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
