I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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