I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem