Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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