Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize