people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
