i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize