I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
