I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The uberlube is also flammable
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
