Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
