her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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