Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
