But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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