Got a toothbrush?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
