You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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