Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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