Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize