So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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