It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
