Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
