on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
