sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize