The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
