grandma shit on top of the toilet
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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