please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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