Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
A+ Viking dick
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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