You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
