When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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