Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
