Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Randomize
