In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
