he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I touched a dick in church today
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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