Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
