I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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