all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
