i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
