Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
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you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
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And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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