Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
