Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
