hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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