Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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