Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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