My Higher Power is John Stamos
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
