Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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