sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
When are your genitals available?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
