The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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