YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
