I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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