Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
