Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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