JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize