She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
