I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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