Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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