Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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