You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
