Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
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i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
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I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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